Silent Listening
If something bad just happened (happen) to your friend, what would you do? Would you mention it to him and say you feel sorry about it? Would you offer support or advice? According to Ruth Clark, such 41 (treat) could mean well, but it might not be what he 42 (real) wants or needs.
Clark asked some college students to imagine some 43 (pleasant) situations, e.g., a low exam grade or the dad’s 44 (lose) of his job. The students were then 45 (ask) how they would like to be treated by a friend who learned of the bad situation from someone else. The results were a little 46 (surprise). Some said they would want and expect their friend to mention the 47 (annoy) situation, but most of the students in the study 48 (respond) that they would like the friend not to do it. The students made the 49 (decide) for themselves whether to discuss their problem with a friend. So, there is value in being a silent 50 (listen) around a troubled friend.
How to Forgive, Forget and Let Go O Forgiving someone does not mean releasing them from an earlier guilt. What if the person who wronged you is not living? What if the person is someone who made you extremely embarrassed during school 20 or 30 years ago? Letting go of emotional pain does not mean that nothing happened; it means that you no longer want to be controlled by it.
Recognize that forgiveness is not denial. Whatever caused the pain was a real incident. Denying that it happened means it is too painful to work through the emotions. There is no timeline on forgiveness. Some steps take longer to get through, and it is acceptable to set them aside for a period of time. Part of forgiveness is understanding whether or not someone takes responsibility for what happened, and may even show regret.
Understand that not everyone who forgives reconciles with the person who caused the pain. There are relationships that are harmful and even physically dangerous. While it is possible to forgive the past and move beyond it，it may also mean that the person who was involved can no longer play an active role in your life. If a person or situation is not safe，it may be best not to reconcile there relationship now. Work on forgiveness at d time when you are emotionally healthy and physically safe.
Make a conscious decision to forgive someone. Even if they never apologize for what happened, determine within yourself that it is fine to proceed without this apology. Apologies should not be asking for forgiveness. Apologies should be offered as an effort of true regret. They should be admitting that taking personal responsibility for the situation is important. Even without that apology, make up your mind to forgive, forget, and eventually let go.
Task l
16、 Paragraph O：
17、 Paragraph ?:
18、 Paragraph 0:
19、 Paragraph O：
A、 Forgiving should be at a safe time.
B、 Forgiving is not to deny what happened.
C、 Forgiving is not to free someone from blame.
D、 Forgiving can happen without an apology.
E、 Forgiving can lead us away fix>m the past hurt.
Task 2
20、 You may forgive some___________________
21、 There is no fixed time________________
22、 Even if you’ve forgiven someone，_______
23、 Don't rush to forgive those_____________
24、 Some people apologize merely_______________
25、 If you expect an apology,___________________
A、 you may not become friends
B、 to offer forgiveness
C、 who are still dangerous to you
D、 who wronged you long time ago
E、 you may never get rid of emotional pain
F、 ho only forgive those showing regret
G、 for being forgiven
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